Dear Pastor


Dear Pastor,

I love your heart of mercy. Like Christ, you long to see people walk in forgiveness as we each have been forgiven. I love that you see my husband as a man in need of a Savior, not some degenerate to be despised. Thank you. Would you extend to me mercy as well?

  • The mercy of validating that pornography constitutes infidelity because a broken vow is a betrayal, and I feel the pain of my husband giving away the intimacy that is meant for me;
  • The mercy of allowing forgiveness to be a process without shame or forced intimacy because the hurt runs so deeply even though I am fighting to let Jesus work in my heart. Forgiving 70 times 7 has taken on a whole new meaning for me;
  • The mercy of seeing me as abused: constantly lied to, gaslighted, and made to feel utterly worthless. My husband's porn use and lying tells me the opposite of everything Jesus says I am. 

I know my husband needs help. I do, too, every bit as much. In fact, I wish you would tell him the truth: he has betrayed his wedding vows and broken the 6th commandment. It would mean so much more coming from you. It would mean so much to me, too. 

You can listen to my interview with Fr. Sean Kilcawley about common advice women receive from priests and what they actually need to hear.  (Passcode: 4xM04TX. - Don't forget the period!)