Are You At War With Yourself?
Are you at war with yourself? A common internal battle I see in betrayed partners is that one part of them wants to believe their addicted spouse is evil and monstrous. If we believe this, we can keep ourselves from their harm through anger which helps us hold boundaries. Another part of us has empathy for the husband who was exposed to porn early, neglected by his parents, or who has gone through many difficulties in life. This part of wants us to be compassionate and leave the door open to restore the relationship. We can see that he didn't start this addiction willfully even those he continues to choose it. The former part often believes the greatest threat to us is empathy because it makes us soft and exposed to the abusive behaviors that are a part of our husband's acting out. It knows how our husbands may have weaponized our empathy and forgiveness against us. This part sees that he treats others with more respect than he treats us, so he knows what he is doing. Empathy...
